O_O

Firstly, I need to learn a proper bedtime.
Secondly...er I dunno.
Thirdly.....

Anyway, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. So many things are different for me now. I think I finally understand what Joe had been trying to tell me over the years. He said I shouldn't be so uptight or closed in. I think I know why I was that way. I hadn't found someone I was comfortable with. When I look back at past feelings, I find it foolish that I ever felt that way. Good riddance. Even if they turned around and realized a truth, it's too late. I have someone. I don't know what this feeling is. It's like I'm happy and content, yet I long for more. Sometimes I wake up with this lonely sensation, this strong urge to be at her side. Believe me, I wish I could teleport because that's where I would be, and then I would conviently vanish to prevent issues.

Hhm, is there anything I won't do...yes there is, but I don't know what it could be. I feel as if I have enough trust to try new things and then determine if I like them or not. But that's only with her. I didn't feel comfortable with anyone else. I don't know what it is, but I feel very comfortable around her. It's like those walls I kept around myself are starting to fall apart whenever I talk to or see her. Of course, they go right back up with other people who think I'll open up to them. Sorry suckers, but you don't get that ability. I only open up to people I like or have fondness for. But in this case, it's more than fondness. I think its love. I find myself wondering "What is Kira doing right now," or "Man I wish I could see Kira right now" or "Eww why do I live so far away!" I want to be with her... >.< One day I will be. Even if I have to leave things behind and start fresh.

Okay, I'll go to bed now. This is enough.

Well well well....

Let's just say things are going quite well for me. School is fine, and I had a blast at Youmacon 2011. I had so much fun even though I barely went to any panels like I did last time. I spent most of my time with Kira, playing the role of "cute uke pet" while I was there. I like being flaunted and lead around on a leash. So much fun. The most fun part about that is the taunting. Well, at least I got what I was hoping for on Saturday night. I think I'm touch deprived or something. I wanted that pretty badly....and I loved it.

I had no idea I could be so loud. How embarrassing. And that was only a taste. I don't think I'll be able to forget that until something else happens to replace it.

Crystal is very, very happy right now.