Who needs clothing?

Who needs clothing while playing MMOs? I dont wear clothes while I'm gaming... that's only if nobody is at home with me. If my mother is there I suck it up and keep them on. But if she's gone, off they go. Also, I do have the pile of dishes and food wrappers sitting nearby. So much that my fiance would probably scream at me if she were to see the huge mess that I leave laying around. Seriously.

It would go something like "OMG CLEAN THIS TRIFLING MESS UP RIGHT NOW!" Yeah, she's a neat freak to a certain degree...and I love her for it. Besides, I probably would still be a lazy butt when it comes to hygeine if it weren't for her nagging me about it. Taking showers when I feel sluggish is a good refresher. And shit my battery on my laptop is running out. Stupid college and their moving all the tables away from sockets....

A long overdue update...

So, it has been a long time since I last wrote in this thing. So much has changed. For one, I'm in a relationship with the best person on the planet who is just right for me. I'm there for her, she's here for me. On another note things seem to be getting better just as they are taking a turn for the worst.

My mother is being selfish and she wonders why God hasn't blessed her yet. I lost my bus card, which was the main means of me getting back and forth to class. She gives me the excuse "I barely have enough money to get myself to work I can't pay for you to go to school as well!" Seems like she just wants me to sit on my ass and waste away and do shit for her. Nope.

Yesterday I missed another day of speech class, but I'm not upset about that. To be honest I don't really care because I kinda find the teacher to be quite... irritating. She keeps correcting a regional accent. She tells us not to say things the way we've been saying them our entire lives, as if it is that easy to change a burned in pattern of speaking in an instant.

I have some serious catching up to do with my computer class, and I'll do that as soon as I get home today. On another note, my fiance blocked all the social networking sites, seeing as they are a problem for me. She always asks me how I am able to talk with people online so easily. I just do. For a long time interacting online was the only interaction I had with other people. I'm a house body. I only go out if I really need to, like for school or groceries and stuff like that.

I'm also looking to go to a university sometime next fall. I'll probably live on campus to get a taste of what living on my own away from that mother of mine will be like. I can see myself shutting myself up in my room when I don't have class while everyone else is out partying or doing stupid things. I'll be in my room studying and playing MMOs! Like Forsaken World...ahem.

This community college I go to has SHIT internet. < insert internet addict rage here>

Seeing as I'm an aspiring writer, I have a bunch of characters living in my head. I used to roleplay too, on Tumblr, until I got banned from going on it. I've been off it for some time, but I was just reading the RPs there. I wasn't interacting with anyone and the ones I were reading updated like once a week so I'd just check them twice a week. I wasn't stalking their blogs every single day. I have a bunch of muses living in my head. Some of them cause me issues. Serious issues. Being creative is a from of schizophrenia in my opinion, especially when you write stories and make up characters. A lot of my characters have serious issues.

Okay I'm done. I'll probably write more later.

THE SONG OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

流れてく　時の中ででも　気だるさが　ほらグルグル廻って
私から　離れる心も　見えないわ　そう知らない？

自分から　動くこともなく　時の隙間に　流され続けて
知らないわ　周りのことなど　私は私　それだけ

夢見てる？　なにも見てない？　語るも無駄な　自分の言葉
悲しむなんて　疲れるだけよ　何も感じず　過ごせばいいの

戸惑う言葉　与えられても　自分の心　ただ上の空
もし私から　動くのならば　すべて変えるのなら　黒にする

こんな自分に　未来はあるの？　こんな世界に　私はいるの？
今切ないの？　今悲しいの？　自分の事も　わからないまま

歩むことさえ　疲れるだけよ　人のことなど　知りもしないわ
こんな私も　変われるのなら　もし変われるのなら　白になる

流れてく　時の中ででも　気だるさがほら　グルグル廻って
私から　離れる心も　見えないわそう　知らない？

自分から　動くこともなく　時の隙間に　流され続けて
知らないわ　周りのことなど　私は私　それだけ

夢見てる？　なにも見てない？　語るも無駄な　自分の言葉
悲しむなんて　疲れるだけよ　何も感じず　過ごせばいいの

戸惑う言葉　与えられても　自分の心　ただ上の空
もし私から　動くのならば　すべて変えるのなら　黒にする

無駄な時間に　未来はあるの？　こんな所に　私はいるの？
私のことを　言いたいならば　ことばにするのなら　「ろくでなし」

こんな所に　私はいるの？ こんな時間に　私はいるの？
こんな私も　変われるもなら　もし変われるのなら　白になる

今夢見てる？　なにも見てない？　語るも無駄な　自分の言葉
悲しむなんて　疲れるだけよ　何も感じず　過ごせばいいの

戸惑う言葉　与えられても　自分の心　ただ上の空
もし私から　動くのならば　すべて変えるのなら　黒にする

動くのならば　動くのならば　すべて壊すわ　すべて壊すわ
悲しむならば　悲しむならば　私の心　白く変われる？

貴方の事も　私のことも　全ての事も　まだ知らないの
重い目蓋を　開けたのならば　すべて壊すのなら　黒になれ！！！


Nagareteku toki no naka de demo kedarusa ga hora guruguru mawatte
Watashi kara hanareru kokoro mo mienai wa sou shiranai
Even in the midst of flowing time, I feel languid, look, spinning around and around.
I can't even see the heart that's leaving me, yes, I don't know

Jibun kara ugoku koto mo naku toki no sukima ni nagasare tsuzukete
Shiranai wa mawari no koto nado watashi wa watashi sore dake
I can't even get myself to move, I continue to be washed down the cracks of time.
I don't know anything about what's around me, I'm just me and no more.

Yume miteru? Nani mo mitenai? Kataru mo muda na jibun no kotoba
Kanashimu nante tsukareru dake yo nani mo kanjizu sugoseba ii no
Am I dreaming? Am I seeing nothing? My words are useless even if I speak.
I'm just tired of being sad, I should go on without feeling anything.

Tomadou kotoba ataerarete mo jibun no kokoro tada uwa no sora
Moshi watashi kara ugoku no naraba subete kaeru no nara kuro ni suru
Even if I'm given the words I'm at a loss for, my heart just won't pay attention.
If I move myself away, if I change everything, I’ll turn it black.

Konna jibun ni mirai wa aru no? Konna sekai ni watashi wa iru no?
Ima setsunai no? Ima kanashii no? Jibun no koto mo wakaranai mama
Is there a future for someone like me? Do I exist in a world like this?
Is this painful now? Is it sad now? Not even knowing myself.

Ayumu koto sae tsukareru dake yo hito no koto nado shiri mo shinaiwa
Konna watashi mo kawareru no nara moshi kawareru no nara shiro ni naru?
I'm just tired even of walking, I don't even understand people.
If someone like me can change, if I can change, will I turn white?

Nagareteku toki no naka de demo kedarusa ga hora guruguru mawatte
Watashi kara hanareru kokoro mo mienaiwa sou shiranai
Even in the midst of flowing time, I feel languid, look, spinning around and around.
I can't even see the heart that's leaving me, yes, I don't know

Jibun kara ugoku koto mo naku toki no sukima ni nagasare tsuzukete
Shiranai wa mawari no koto nado watashi wa watashi sore dake
I can't even get myself to move, I continue to be washed down the cracks of time.
I don't know anything about what's around me, I'm just me and no more.

Yume miteru? Nani mo mitenai? Kataru mo muda na jibun no kotoba
Kanashimu nante tsukareru dake yo nani mo kanjizu sugoseba ii no
Am I dreaming? Or seeing nothing? My words are useless even if I speak.
I'm just tired of being sad, I should go on without feeling anything.

Tomadou kotoba ataerarete mo jibun no kokoro tada uwa no sora
Moshi watashi kara ugoku no naraba subete kaeru no nara kuro ni suru
Even if you give me the words I'm at a loss for, my heart just won't pay attention.
If I can move, if I change everything, I’ll turn it black.

Muda na jikan ni mirai wa aru no? Konna tokoro ni watashi wa iru no?
Watashi no koto o iitai naraba kotoba ni suru no nara "roku de nashi"
Does a future exist in wasted time? Do I exist in a place like this?
If I want to talk about me, if I make myself heard, I'll say I'm "Bad Apple"

Konna tokoro ni watashi wa iru no? Konna jikan ni watashi wa iru no?
Konna watashi mo kawareru no nara moshi kawareru no nara shiro ni naru?
Do I exist at a place like this? Do I exist at a time like this?
If someone like me can change, if I can change, will I turn white?

Ima yume miteru? Nani mo mitenai? Kataru mo muda na jibun no kotoba?
Kanashimu nante tsukareru dake yo nani mo kanjizu sugoseba ii no
Am I dreaming now? Am seeing nothing? My words are useless even if I speak.
I'm just tired of being sad, I should go on without feeling anything.

Tomadou kotoba ataerarete mo jibun no kokoro tada uwa no sora
Moshi watashi kara ugoku no naraba subete kaeru no nara kuro ni suru
Even if you give me the words I'm at a loss for, my heart just won't pay attention.
If I can move, if I change everything, I’ll turn it black.

Ugoku no naraba ugoku no naraba subete kowasu wa subete kowasuwa
Kanashimu naraba kanashimu naraba watashi no kokoro shiroku kawareru?
If I move, if I move, I’ll destroy everything, I’ll destroy everything.
If I grieve, if I grieve, can my heart turn white?

Anata no koto mo watashi no koto mo subete no koto mo mada shiranai no
Omoi mabuta wo aketa no naraba subete kowasu no nara kuro ni nare!!!
I still don’t know about you, about myself, about everything.
If I open my heavy eyelids, if I break everything, then turn black!!!

Ohohohoho

Well, I need to update more often. But it doesn't look like that will be happening.
Anyway, another semester has started, and I'm back in classes again. Oh, I can't wait until May 7. Then I shall be free again.

My mind keeps thinking about Hazama/Jin. Those two just happen to be my OTP for Blazblue. I dun care what anyone thinks about that! I mean, I'm a fan. I have my right to think that, and there are other fans who agree. The internet needs more of that pairing, I think. Most of my Blazblue pics are either of Hazama, Jin, or the two of them together. Then I have random Ragna thrown in there as well.

It's sad how I daydream about those two characters a lot.
But then again, I'm imagining that I'm Jin and that my girlfriend is Hazama. She's a hot one by the way. We need to get our epic cosplays together so we can go to cons with me on a leash. (A short one btw so I don't get lost :D)

I don't know if we will cosplay at Youmacon if we go. They're a bit terrible now. I was all geeked last year, thinking I'd be awake most of the con. But that didn't happen. It was BORING so sleeping was a better option. Not to mention something really nice happened one night. >/////<

I want a repeat of that night so badly right now...but better. :3

On top of that a good RP with Hazama/Jin is on my agenda.