WHY?

My mind has been all over the place lately, thinking happy thoughts and sad thoughts and everything in between. I have fallen to the deepest pits of darkness only to find small sparks of light that seem too far out of reach for my hands. I look around and realize that there is no chance for someone like me.

Where will hopes and dreams of better days take me? I keep reaching, but it feels like that day will never come. Still, I wish there was someone....

Why did she leave me here all alone? It doesn't matter now. I'm still upset, and very much hurt. Was I not worth the truth at all? Why couldn't you tell me the real reason? I must not have been very important to you.

And soon, my other best friend will be moving away as well. I'll be here all alone. Making new friends could be the answer, but friendships take time to build.

Some days I feel like my heart is tied in painful knots and I just want to scream. I just want to yell out how frustrated I am with everything and everyone. Where is courage when I need it? Why can't I ever express what I want? Why can't I just shout "HEY I WANT YOU!"

Fear. That is why. Fear of looking stupid, fear of rejection, fear of fear.

So, is confidence important? Yes, I believe it is. I had enough courage to say the first part...but the second part is oh so fleeting. I feel like I won't have a chance in hell!

What does it matter? It's not like anyone I know reads this damn thing even though the link has been on my facebook page for MONTHS.

/end rant

Random bursts of nonsense from the pits of my mind......

You know you're not the only one.......

I need to stop procrastinating...but it is fun. Yay for the distracting powas of the interwebs!

I don't think I'll get far with NaNoWriMo.... bettter start up again or I won't catch up in time O_O

Thanks a lot you stupid anime convention (Youmacon) now I have a crush on someone. >.>
But don't worry, I had a good time.

Why am I writing this crap?

Ugh.

My mother is not home right now. YAY I has the compy all to meself... should work on writing right now...
NAAAAAH. *pokes self* Uhm okay writing it is....

*head on desk*